WHEN YOU go into the business of trying to create a viral tune, you better be good, at least as good as all the other wannabes. If you try to do that with an East London feel, you better be a lot good: hipsters loathe being patronised.
The mix seemed right, however, when an outfit calling itself Krammer vs Maurice launched a song-length video about the 149 night bus. Suitably opaque band name, a London travel icon, bit of hiphop in the song… hmm, promising.
Unfortunately, what KvM described to Loving Dalston as “our first single” should, to judge by the vid, be its last.
Loving Dalston asked a member of the target age group to review it. Night-bus fan Adam Counihan, of Clerkenwell, responded: “It is a poorly recorded song with a poor video, which neither captures the essence of the individual experience of London’s night transport nor conveys any specific or interesting message.
“The lyrics are bland, unimaginative and derivative to the point where you can almost picture the morons who made it doing ‘like, some research for this new project’ by getting drunk and taking the bus. It would surprise me if the tune became popular but I think the term is ‘disappointing’— neither anthemic nor clever.”
It was “musical sludge” aimed at “a certain type of idiot”.
In an exchange of emails, a KvM member obfuscated to Loving Dalston about the group. Contrived shyness is near compulsory for such marketing — as they more or less admitted when, asked if KvM weren’t being a bit precious, the member replied “Precious is certainly a good word to describe it”.
KvM was, the member said, “a collective of music types based in East London who write from the head and not the heart.
“Drawing inspiration from London terrain, KvM’s songs are about everything from the annoying to the mundane, the rude to the scary, and the unreasonable to the unbelievable”.
Then, in phraseology that suggests they have the kind of mindset you need for a fairly conventional job (marketing?) they added, like an overpaid Sony Music executive: “Expect to be singing along by the second chorus.”
Sorry, guys: expect not to get the 1.6 million hits of that 2009 vid that is so well known, the one that nailed Hackney hipsterism. And we still don’t know who made that.
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