Amazing discovery made at Dalston Kingsland

Amazing discovery made at Dalston Kingsland station

IT’S OFFICIAL: scientists have found that the centre of the universe is Dalston. Look, the sign above shows a boffin with telescope. Proof, eh?

The notice at Dalston Kingsland station was devised by Jamie Chamberlain, who often scribbles charming little missives to commuters.

“I do it for amusement,” the customer-service host (really: TfL loves long job titles) told Loving Dalston. A commuter himself, from Hoddesdown, Hertfordshire, several stations stops north of Hackney, he “likes Dalston a lot”.

Jamie Chamberlain @ Dalston Kingsland station Hackney LONDON E8 140416 © David Altheer
On the right lines: Jamie Chamberlain sorts out another traveller query

His signs should, however, be seen with the kind of “irony” that comes with quote marks.

His signs should, however, be seen with the kind of “irony” that comes with quote marks.  After a Loving Dalston report of a biting assault at the station, Chamberlain sardonically noted the number of days without attacks by mythical bats.

dkvamp15: sign posted at DK last year vampire story (Pic: G Gartside)
Biting wit: sign posted at DK last year vampire story (Pic: G Gartside)

Somewhat hysterical journalists from abroad have called Dalston the hippest place on the planet — writers too lazy to check sources still repeat the supposed Italian Vogue  comment — but on a brief stroll one lunchtime the streets around the station showed more than hipster-appeal.

Opposite the station, a structure that functions even worse than it looks, a smart young TV news crew was stopping Ridley Road Market shoppers for a few quick questions about the news.

Cool that reporters rush up to Dalston for their vox pops? Not if you’re rushing for a train.

Outside the Kingsland Centre two East European Roma showed that the saxophone and the accordion go together like a pentecostal Christian and a Muslim fundamentalist.

As it happens, groups of both were standing uncomfortably side by side, competing with each other to convert passers-by to their beliefs.

A few hundred metres away at the edge of the market a man stretched himself out on a bed of rough concrete to nap in the spring sunshine, oblivious to the shouts,“Only 50p!”, from a stall-holder.

A young woman from Copenhagen was photographing laughing-gas canisters, the residue of the home-going clubbers who can be heard clattering through the morning streets at weekends.

Off Ridley Road trees had broken into bloom, making the roads look almost suburban, and the tower of the magnificent St Mark’s church loomed over the huge Victorian houses. Their market values have reached crazy levels.

© DA
Snow man: an April sign at the station

Thank goodness for someone like Jamie Chamberlain to make some fun of it all.

David Altheer 190416

* Backstory: Vampire strikes station staffer

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