MIDDLE-CLASS Hackney’s beloved The Guardian wants to start a private members’ club within a few km of its headquarters in the handsome canalside Kings Place building at Islington, London N1 9GU.

“It would,” the paper’s marketing people emailed Loving Dalston, “be a place our members could meet a community of like-minded individuals.”

An area the marketeers called “Kings Cross” (apostrophe?) tops the list of possible locations for the private club, followed by Islington and Shoreditch.

“Benefits” would include a place to hold meetings, a library, an armchair cinema (so much better than the stand-up variety), library, master classes in political ideas (canardly wait) and photography (yes, please), and a shop selling products vetted by The Guardian. (So no tumescent-policeman gnomes or boob-embossed aprons, then.)

Flexible workspaces, a rooftop restaurant and an “ambient bar” (beats me) would be provided, as would long-weekend festivals, ideal for tweed-jacketed lecturers and N1 wives to discuss Ugandan affairs.

Kate Walsh, of The Sunday Times, who keeps a close watch on business affairs, believes that membership would be set at about £900 a year. Membership of Shoreditch House starts at £500.

Hamish Scott 050711

* If you want to hang out with guardianistas, away from those tiresome readers of The Sun, the biggest-selling newspaper in Hackney, email your views to marketing manager anna.hayman@guardian.co.uk.